Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Random list

1- I have been going through a bought of anxiety , it’s a strange feeling 
2- Old friends are dropping like flies , it seems like I have no control on my social life anymore 
3- I am not in control of what is happening at work anymore neither, I used to have so much sway and power and now I am just a has been
4- I keep watching Gilmore Girls , interestingly I watch it when I feel like good energy is coming to my life
5- couple of things broke in my house today , I kinda panicked and then realized breakable things always break. 
6- i am just going to submit to my boss , so he grows bored and move on to other things 
7- If i submit to him , it’s even sadder to him . Because that means I have gone from not taking him seriously to indifference .. like sure you are powerful I got it , I am moving on 
8- I need to write more
9- I need more of myself
10-  future seems so uncertain and out of my control
11- i have to trust the unknown and my ability to meet my future with open arms 
12- i just don’t want to put up a fight where I am anymore , I have better things waiting for me in the future
13- i gotta let a lot of things go …
14- what goes around, comes around 
15- i am a darn good list maker 
16- i need to monetize my lists 
17- i really am uncomfortable with the feeling of anxiety and grief and all the negative emotions that were part of my everyday life 
18- i gotta write more
19- i want a boyfriend with whom I can have sex in the car 
20- i want a boyfriend who genuinely loves me and I genuinely love him and we have a secure healthy relationship  with each other . The kind that makes you feel safe and secure and makes you laugh, and makes you want to stay and have a family with 
21- it will all work at the end , it always does , tomorrow is just another day 
22- life is good, it has always been good and it will continue to Rock 
23- life happens 
24- my abandonment issues are rearing their ugly heads , and I integrate them back to myself lovingly 
25- how things have changed and yet have stayed the same 

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